As we have navigated food allergies with pre-school birthday celebrations, I have learned a lot. Much of it is shared above and is beneficial for all of those involved. However, regardless of which type of celebration Gene experienced that day, regardless of the effort or lack of effort that was put into including him, and regardless of my efforts of planning ahead, I have learned that my little boy is resilient.
Gene gives me a play-by-play on the way home from preschool and you can bet that if a classmate’s birthday was celebrated, I’m going to hear about it! He will excitedly tell me who’s birthday it was, and then say something very matter of fact along the lines of, “They brought cupcakes, but they have nuts, eggs, and wheat in them, so I had cookies from my backpack.”
I always let that sink in for a moment (as another piece of my momma heart breaks) and then hesitantly ask, “Bud, does it make you feel sad that everyone else ate cupcakes and you had to eat something different?”
His answer is always the same, “No.”
These car conversations have never upset him, never even phased him in fact, but it has taken me some time to come to terms with them. Gene will always be different and he will always be excluded in some way when it comes to food. However, Gene has a quality of selflessness that is something to be admired. He is HAPPY to celebrate others, even if it means he doesn’t get anything out of it.
To all of my fellow allergy parents out there, know that your child will see the light even when you see darkness. The light is all that they see because it is all that they know, and that is something that cannot be taught. Be proud.